2.06.2014

MIND YA BIDNESS and Stop Fucking Size Shaming


Image courtesy of Sattva / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Why do we care so much about other people's bodies?

Why is fat shaming (and, now, skinny shaming) a thing? 

Some people claim they are concerned for the other person's well-being.  They quote a laundry list of reasons why being overweight is unhealthy and urge them, sometimes gently, other times with "tough love", but always with condescension, to turn their life around and lose the weight (I'm going to use fat shaming as my main example, as I am, well, fat.)  I'll admit that in some cases this is okay.  If a beloved family member or dear friend is very dangerously overweight and/or clearly unhappy and doesn't have a good quality of life, then perhaps you should intervene.

But if it's someone like me- someone who is relatively healthy (my cholesterol and blood sugar levels are excellent), pretty active (I go to the gym, hoop, and do various outdoorsy things when the weather isn't garbage) and has a very busy, fun life, then perhaps you should stop making assumptions (appearance ≠ reality) and leave them the fuck be.


On the other hand, you have the people who are just disgusted.  They are repulsed by your fat body and your lack of self respect and willpower.  All I have to say about these people is that it's shocking how much empathy they lack.  Also, how important are you that I need to change the way I look because you are aesthetically displeased?  In the immortal words of the Fresh Prince- Mind. Ya. Bidness.  Just MIND. YA. BIDNESS.

I'm not going to pretend that I'm totally innocent.  In the past I've judged both people bigger than me (because that's the way being fat often works- you're great, but anyone bigger than you isn't) and smaller.  I've been known to call one of my best friends, when she gets very thin, "Skinny Ass Peanut Head."  We both laugh about it, but just because it's funny, doesn't mean it isn't skinny shaming, which is let common, but just as harmful as fat shaming.

So I'm going to make an effort to stop size shaming.  I'm going to mind my own damn business, because I want people to do the same.  And if my judgmental ass can do it, so you can.


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